Missing things…

“I used to be worried about missing all the little things when the kids were growing up. Now I’m missing a lot of little things and I sometimes question my sanity!” ~Anonymous Mom looking for her hair brush, eye liner, kitchen scissors, the toothpaste cap, a favorite necklace, her black sweater, socks that were in her drawer and may now be on someone else’s feet, a pizza stone…

It”s the classic mom struggle when your kids are growing up. You enjoy each and every “new” moment. You swell with pride when that first step is taken, you treasure every new word that is spoken, every first is celebrated and even documented throughout all the years. Photos are taken excessively, sometimes to the chagrin of the miniature human subjects of said photos. In some cases, snips of hairs (and sometimes baby teeth!) are tucked away as maudlin momentos to help us remember changes that mark stages of the morphing journey to adulthood of these sweet little people we love so much.  We get sick to our stomachs and doubt our ability to be a good parent at the thought of missing any event, big or small. We somehow make it work! They grow up and become young adults.

Then things start to change a bit. These little people become people who are sometimes bigger than you or roughly the same size! They start using various household and personal items you have used for years, however, they don’t quite yet get the idea of asking permission or putting these things back where they belong when they have finished using them. As these little people have morphed into young adults, their mother has morphed into a busier than ever and slightly more distracted than ever middle aged woman. Sometimes she misplaces things. She sets something down while picking something else up and then may get distracted by the proverbial shiny object which might in this particular household take the form of a 13 pound puppy chasing and wanting to “play” with an previously slumberous and contentedly inactive sharp clawed 15 pound cat across a dining room table. Or it might take the form of these adult sized children wrestling one another and one getting knocked onto the couch which forcibly moves the couch enough to knock the entire sofa table behind it over and all the items on the table, including potted plants, go crashing onto the floor. It might take the form of the mom leaving the house with her hands full and getting an itch on the top of her head which she scratches while forgetting that she has a travel mug of hot coffee in that same hand and proceeds to pour scalding coffee on her scalp which then causes her to have to set down all the items in her hand in random places to go rewash her hair and check for possible third degree burns and she might forget where she put all the items in her haste and may not realize until much later that she lost something she needed (besides her sanity and healthy skin on her head).

These random and yet fairly specific examples of shiny object distractions may have happened numerous times in this household. But I digress! See, even memories of shiny object moments distract this middle aged woman from the task at hand!! Here is the point (finally, right?). The habits of my kids borrowing things and not putting them back and me misplacing things on my own have caused a fair amount of inquiries and confusions and misdirection in our house lately. It is hard to make the kids understand that I really want to know where the missing pizza stone went when I ask who borrowed the hairbrush I am holding in my hand (EXAGGERATION! The hairbrush might have been exactly where I set it earlier in the day…).

The list of items missing does increase, but so does the admittance that the item was borrowed and it is given back. I also am more diplomatic about asking for help when items go “missing”, knowing that it is not always (but mostly is) the kids who are guilty of moving the item.  Baby steps, but progress! I kind of figure this is a strange preparation for me to keep a higher semblance of order in my house because I think I will need it more than ever as I age!